(Cross-posted from the sideways view.)

For most people I don't think it's important to have a really precise definition of integrity. But if you really want to go all-in on consequentialism then I think it's useful. Otherwise you risk being stuck with a flavor of consequentialism that is either short-sighted or terminally timid.

I.

I aspire to make decisions in a pretty simple way. I think about the consequences of each possible action and decide how much I like them; then I select the action whose consequences I like best.

To make decisions with integrity, I make one change: when I imagine picking an action, I pretend that picking it causes everyone to know that I am the kind of person who picks that option.

If I'm considering breaking a promise to you, and I am tallying up the costs and benefits, I consider the additional cost of you having known that I would break the promise under these conditions. If I made a promise to you, it's usually because I wanted you to believe that I would keep it. So you knowing that I wouldn't keep the promise is usually a cost, often a very large one.

: Optimal summary of this post.

If I'm considering sharing a secret you told me, and I am tallying up the costs and benefits, I consider the additional cost of you having known that I would share this secret. In many cases, that would mean that you wouldn't have shared it with me---a cost which is usually larger than whatever benefit I might gain from sharing it now.

If I'm considering having a friend's back, or deciding whether to be mean, or thinking about what exactly counts as "betrayal," I'm doing the same calculus. (In practice there are many cases where I am pathologically unable to be really mean. One motivation for being really precise about integrity is recovering the ability to engage in normal levels of being a jerk when it's actually a good idea.)

This is a weird kind of effect, since it goes backwards in time and it may contradict what I've actually seen. If I know that you decided to share the secret with me, what does it mean to imagine my decision causing you not to have shared it?

It just means that I imagin

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